Hello friends!

After coaching 100+ high achievers, the one mindset that always leaves me feeling most concerned is this:

"I'm not a feelings person."

And it's particularly heartbreaking because it hits close to home. I used to believe that I wasn't a feelings person. Heck, my friends even called me "the token robot friend"!

All those years, I thought my absence of emotions was a strength. But looking back now, I see a darker truth... it was a coping mechanism to numb myself of pain.

That's what this week's exploration is about.

This week's theme:

You are a feelings person.

#1. Logic as a coping mechanism.

What I've come to learn is that over-dependence on logic is a coping mechanism that is no different to:

• Alcohol abuse
• Workaholism
• Video game addictions

In all of these instances, we resort to an externality to avoid confronting our own emotions.

But for some reason, while we are quick to judge those struggling with alcohol/work/gaming... we are also quick to praise high achievers that are purely logical.

That's what happened with me. I was praised for my level-headedness, my rational approach to life. But now I see that I was also running away. That the reason why I didn't feel any emotions... was because I was scared.

Scared that if I allowed myself to feel emotions, I would also feel pain.

#2. What changed for me

I was fortunate enough to meet people in my life that created space to hold my emotions:

• A friend that told me "You're allowed to feel this way."
• A counsellor that gave me permission to abandon my identities
• And many many more others...

And in finally feeling my feelings, I felt the pain I had run away from. But in doing so, the pain also moved on.

I had healed.

And now my friends see me as one of the most emotionally in-tune individuals in their life.

#3. If you're also "not a feelings person"...

You are a feelings person.

Feeling is what we as human beings do, and there's no escaping it.

So no matter what you feel... you're allowed to feel it.

It doesn't matter if the feeling is irrational or immoral.

None of that changes the fact that the feeling itself is valid.

You are allowed to feel your feelings.

If you'd like to explore this more...

I talk about it in depth in this week's YouTube video:

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That's it for this week's issue of Emotional Explorations! I hope it helped, and I hope you remember: you are a feelings person.

Best,
Eric